Category: Holidays

Dream A Little Scream Of Me

It is one of those moments that mark the unofficial start of Fall around these parts. The Field Of Screams in Mountville PA once again adds another chapter to their legacy of terrorizing young and old alike from September 11th through the middle of November. It is located about forty miles from where I live, but I have never gotten around to visiting it. Still, as a huge Halloween guy it seems like something I should make the trip for.

There are four main haunted attractions that require separate admissions, but the cost structure is designed for attendees to secure a “Scream Pass” (or even a “Group Scream Pass” for large parties) which gain you entry to each one.

I do have a few thoughts based on the Field Of Screams info provided about each attraction…

Haunted Hayride – “Prepare yourself for the most disturbing, the most heart-pounding, and the most intense ride of your life! There is no turning back as the tractor-pulled wagons take you on a horrifying hayride into the depths of our dark and sinister cornfield.”

“In just twenty minutes, every horror you have ever imagined will come to life and haunt you for the rest of your days.”

Dark and sinister cornfield, huh? When I was a kid who hadn’t taken possession of common sense yet, one year a bunch of us hid out in a big cornfield the night before Halloween and threw handfuls of corn at passing cars. Mind you, this was a back road where the top speed was approximately 10 mph, so it wasn’t quite as heinous as it sounds. However, during our Mischief Night adventure when those kernels hit one car in particular, the driver hit the brakes, parked in the street, and flung open their door.

My friend Mikey may still be running.

Den Of Darkness – “Three stories of sheer terror await as you creep through the dismal passageways and maddening mazes of this 200-year-old original barn. Incredible detail, dynamic set design, and a multitude of grotesque inhabitants guarantee high-impact scares and sensory overload!”

“The dark and mysterious past of the Den began when the Murter family resided there. Mr. Murter tortured both vagrants and locals who approached their land, and their blood still stains the ground. Years later the residence was renovated into The Garden Hotel and ironically the horrific killings increased. As the demented hotel staff committed torturous murders, many checked in but few checked out.”

Three stories? 200-year-old barn? I’m not so much worried about all those dismal passageways and maddening mazes as much as whether or not the barn floors will support any visitors. The Garden Hotel clearly has a severe Human Resources problem. To be honest, this place sounds an awful lot like The Hotel California. You can check out anytime you like…but you can never leave.

Frightmare Asylum – “Welcome to your worst Nightmare! Check in to your new living quarters at the Frightmare Asylum and become a part of the bone-chilling madness as you explore four floors of the demented and the deranged! Feel the fear as you meet the disturbed doctors and nightmarish nurses who have taken up residence here! Experience elaborate theming, state-of-the-art scares, and seemingly endless scenes and rooms that are packed with more cutting-edge special effects than you can handle. In the Frightmare Asylum, no one can hear you scream!”

“The malpractice of the doctors and nurses in the Asylum has caused the inmates to become unstable and prone to seek their revenge on all who enter the condemned building.”

Four floors? Condemned building? Visitors here clearly have to be more worried of dying from the Asylum collapsing upon itself more so than all those demented, deranged, revenge-minded inmates running amok. You say no one can hear you scream? That certainly tracks if you wind up under a massive pile of rubble. (It appears I might have some residual trauma from exploring less-than-safe abandoned structures on my town’s “wrong side of the tracks” when I was a kid…)

Nocturnal Wasteland – “In the foreboding and desolate woods on the Field of Screams property lies the Nocturnal Wasteland. As you walk down the narrow, winding paths through the dense overgrown vegetation, you will come face-to-face with the mutant creatures of this fear-filled forest! Your screams and cries for mercy will be too distant to be heard.”

“A walk-through Nocturnal Wasteland provides intense scares and heart-pounding experiences that will leave you screaming through the woods. The inhabitants of this Wasteland watch their visitors squirm and they show no mercy once they track you down. Experience the hair-raising touch of the brander’s tool and smell your own burning flesh as he presses the brand into your skin.”

Sounds like you make your way through a thick Jumanji-like jungle with bad actors trying to keep you from getting where you want to go. I have never experienced anything like that specifically, but I suppose it is a bit like those old 6 AM Black Friday sales. Those crowds always made me feel like I was in a cattle roundup, but fortunately for we shoppers there was no branding or burning flesh involved. (One Thanksgiving however, I did have the burning flesh experience while transferring the turkey from the oven to the counter but I digress…)

Now…for those of you who might for some reason (or lack thereof) need even more terror and horror at the Field Of Screams…I give you…Extreme Blackout.

Extreme Blackout – On Friday November 13th only, all four attractions of the Field of Screams show will be darker, more intense, and hands-on! You will be subject to new methods of torture, physical restraint, and isolation that are not a part of our regular season show. Extreme scare tactics and fear-inducing techniques will be incorporated as part of your Extreme Blackout experience. Not all will survive. Release waivers must be signed in order to participate!

And straight from that release waiver itself…

I UNDERSTAND THAT BY PURCHASING A TICKET TO PARTICIPATE IN EXTREME BLACKOUT, I MAY BE SUBJECT TO PHYSICAL RESTRAINT; ISOLATION; TORTURE; MISDIRECTION; DARK AND NARROW AREAS; DISORIENTING LIGHTING, SOUNDS, AND SPECIAL EFFECTS; PHYSICAL TOUCHING; AND OTHER SCARE TACTICS AND FEAR-INDUCING METHODS AND TECHINIQUES NOT MENTIONED HERE. I HAVE READ AND UNDERSTAND THIS AGREEMENT AND I AM AWARE THAT BY SIGNING THIS AGREEMENT I MAY BE WAIVING CERTAIN LEGAL RIGHTS, INCLUDING THE RIGHT TO SUE.

OK, this does NOT sound OK. Is it breaking news you have to sign a waiver to participate?

My wife is not into the horror performance art thing at all. She told me when we first met in the autumns of her youth, her youth group managed each year to find their way to various haunted hayrides and houses. She reminds me of this whenever I mention the two of us possibly going to Field Of Screams together. She thanks me for the offer, but advises she has already been sufficiently traumatized for life.

Me, I don’t know if I dream of doing this. I do love a well-done horror movie as much as the next person. But, do I really want to live one out, immersing myself in a hands-on experience like this? Extreme Blackout sounds very much like a near-Death experience, and since I’m on the backside of life, I don’t need to edge any closer to Death…so that one is a hard pass.

As for the four main attractions, I have a concern about the proximity of all those performers who jump out and grab at you while your senses are in a heightened, frightened state. I am concerned I might instinctively knock one of them out while in attack mode. Then…you’ve got real blood mixing with fake blood…various lawyers involved, etc. I think I’d have to recruit at least one person to accompany me to Field Of Screams…if for nothing else than to serve as a witness for the police report.

I know they get a ton of visitors there, and it sounds like everybody makes it back home in one piece. I don’t know what your experience is regarding attractions like this but I’ll pose the question here…would you dare go there for scares?

Pictures Courtesy Tripadvisor/Haunted Pennsylvania

Subtle (And Less Subtle) Signs Of Autumn (And Snoopy)

I mentioned my blogging sidekick Ficus in a post from almost a year ago as another plant who is always able to figure things out, including when our seasons are about to shift. The very first thing I notice which makes me feel Autumn is on its way is how the sunlight subtly shifts as it gently enters two windows on either side of Ficus, who stoically resides adjacent to my desk. The sun enters that area at a slightly different angle, moves away just a little quicker, and Ficus ultimately spends a bit more time in the shadows during the afternoon. Each year this happens…it just creeps up on me out of nowhere until one day when I finally recognize what is happening. (I have no doubt Ficus wonders why it still takes me so long to pick up on this…)

Once the sun has started to begin its subtle adjustment, our neighbor’s tree is where the next noticeable change takes place. I don’t know what kind of tree it is, and each Spring it looks healthy enough, but around mid-August it sheds all of its leaves in three weeks. With the heat of the summer still at work, we wind up with a Fall-like street setting of crunchy, golden-brown leaves to admire well before Labor Day…leaves which due to the jet stream will eventually be in our yard to admire more intimately. It is another reminder Autumn (and its leaves) is not far behind.

I subscribe to a number of podcasts. Podcasts became a big deal to me when I started a walking exercise program in the second half of last year. I keep track of steps on my iPhone, and as I walk from Point A to Point B and back again, I like to listen to them (when not listening to live sports). The subjects of these podcasts? TV show rewatches, the NBA, College Basketball, College Football…and NFL Fantasy Football. I can easily see a scenario where after hearing the basics of how Fantasy Football is played, those unfamiliar with it would conclude success is more about luck than skill. Google AI spit out most analysts and experienced players estimate season-long Fantasy Football is 50-70% luck. I would concur when we’re talking about actually winning a league championship. I know Autumn is approaching when the velocity of Fantasy Football podcasts subtly ramps up as training camps get into full swing. My wife and I have been playing Fantasy Football together since 1998. It’s fun for both of us (except when we’re playing each other), and it makes watching any pro football game more interesting as each one has meaning…not just the ones our Eagles are playing in.

Dunkin’s Fall 2026 menu is scheduled to launch this week. Starbucks debuts their menu next week. Two in-your-face signs Autumn is soon upon us. Pumpkin Spice everything, baby. I have come to believe Pumpkin Spice is something you either hate or love. I happen to love it. Now, one not-so-little twist this year when it comes to Fall beverages is in addition to that walking program I initiated, I stopped drinking coffee completely several months ago. My morning drinks since that time have primarily been Iced Chai Lattes. I would very much like to re-introduce coffee to my diet when these Autumnal menus arrive, but I think the days of ordering large Pumpkin Spice Cream Cold Brews are over. I just have to figure out how to say the word s-m-a-l-l. (I have been practicing…)

I walked into the local grocery store yesterday and there it was, a fully-stocked, filled-to-the-sky Halloween section with costume accessories, home decorations…and of course, candy. Boxes and boxes of bags and bags. I will admit we do buy candy for the neighborhood ahead of time, but not this much ahead of time. We get about 100-125 visitors to the front door each Halloween. It is a night where the community is united in having a good time. This too-early appearance of the grocery store Halloween section is another sign Autumn…and the camaraderie of Halloween Night (meet-and-greet skeleton included!) is not far off.

ADDENDUM…A New Peanuts Adventure

I have no idea how young I was when I read my first Charlie Brown comic. It just naturally and organically became a part of my youth, and I read it in the newspaper every single day. Television specials and movies followed, and I have been there for all of it.

Autumn always found Charlie Brown once again being convinced to run up and kick a football by his holding “pal” Lucy.

Apple TV recently announced a new Peanuts movie will hit their platform in 2027. And, it sounds like a movie for all of us to pal around with. The title: Snoopy Unleashed.

The set-up…Charlie Brown’s long-time pen pal, a wheelchair-bound girl from London named Mia, makes a surprise visit to Charlie in the States. Charlie Brown now is faced with trying to live up to the “larger” version of himself he promoted in their letters. Snoopy picks up on this newcomer taking over Charlie Brown’s main focus, and decides to run off to the big city. Charlie and the Peanuts gang, plus Mia of course, all set out to find the wayward doggie. In the interim, while navigating the urban landscape Snoopy befriends a stray mutt who is way more comfortable with city life. We don’t know the stray’s name, but he becomes Snoopy’s opposites-attract pal…just like Mia and Charlie Brown.

The script for this 80-minute feature was written by Craig Schulz, Peanuts creator Charles M. Schulz’s son – and his own son, Bryan Schulz – along with Cornelius Uliano  and Karey Kirkpatrick. It is directed by Steve Martino, who directed The Peanuts Movie (2015).

Peanuts continues to thrive – long after its final comic strip ran back in February of 2000 – and this film will certainly add to its historic legacy.

 

Pictures Courtesy Recraft/Threads/Apple TV

Christmas In July – A Trio Of Entertaining Gifts

Sizing Up The Odyssey

A lot of the entertainment news these days is about Christopher Nolan’s new film, The Odyssey. It is making a bunch of money, and to be sure a decent chunk of that coin is due to folks driving far and wide to see the movie in the largest format possible. The Odyssey is the first film to be completely filmed in IMAX 70 mm. There has been some pushback on the elitist nature of making the movie that way, in that there are only a handful of theatres around the world who can actually show the movie in the format it was filmed in.

We are lucky to live all of five miles from a theatre who has the ability to show a movie in IMAX Digital. The next best thing if you are a movie buff. As my wife and I were taking that brief commute to the theatre at 7:30 Saturday morning to see The Odyssey, we pondered whether or not we really needed to see the movie with a sellout audience…since we wouldn’t be seeing the “true” film anyway. To be sure, we have seen (and heard) a lot of IMAX presentations in our time. And, we get it…it is a fabulous way to present a movie.

We ultimately decided to opt for a show in the standard definition format we all usually see movies in that had four…FOUR…people in the audience. Our goal was to really focus in on this film, and it surely would be a better atmosphere for that with the entire theatre basically to ourselves…as well as reclining seats. Ironically, the higher-priced IMAX theatre has rigid, fixed seating. That morning, it also had a packed house which would inevitably be distracting getting up and moving about during a movie near three hours long. I don’t mind seeing a movie with a crowd, but then there’s crowded. The decision to opt for a “lesser” viewing experience wasn’t as easy as which size popcorn to buy (large), but it was pretty close.

The result? For me, The Odyssey might…might be Christopher Nolan’s finest film of his distinguished career. The direction, acting, locations, sound, and editing are all masterclass. As you know from my prior post, I am not an awards guy. Still, I would be remiss in not reporting I would be shocked if the movie isn’t represented in each Oscar category it is eligible for.

A true cinematic gift, worthy of a view on any size screen.

Doomsday Is Almost Here, But Are MCU Fans Here For It

San Diego hosted the traditional Comic-Con this weekend at its Convention Center. The highlight for many attendees was when Marvel took over Hall H Saturday night for their panel and presentation with regard to their December release of the movie Avengers: Doomsday. Earlier in the week, Marvel released its latest trailer for the film, which was underwhelming to some of us.

The Marvel Cinematic Universe has had a rocky go of it since their Infinity Saga of films concluded with Avengers: Endgame in 2019. That film featured a ton of superheroes, all with quality film appearances on their resume before appearing in Endgame. The movie became the highest-grossing film of all-time at the time it was released.

I always felt that after Endgame, Marvel needed to introduce their next set of Avengers in a linear manner, with three or four of them in each film. No origin stories, just a series of movies allowing the audience to get to see them a couple of times each at minimum before even considering taking on the task of a mega-multi-hero movie like Endgame. The trailer that was released is stuffed with mostly new Avengers we’ve barely seen on screen…and some X-Men heroes we’ve never seen in the MCU.

So, with that sinking feeling of a rushed attempt to try and “save” Marvel, along came news Saturday night that at least some of the approximately 7,500 in attendance at the Marvel event felt the “extended footage” shown in Hall H should have been in the trailer released days earlier. It was better. It gave Marvel fans the gift of hope this will be a decent comic book hero experience. Certainly not The Odyssey…but after the journeys Marvel has taken us on recently I’d just settle for a good, entertaining time at the movies.

I’m such a huge fan of Marvel’s earlier films I will be there on Opening Day for Doomsday. As for my expectations, they remain low…but I’ve moved them up a little bit with some hopeful news. As for my hopes, they remain high.

Chilling With Hallmark

Sunday morning, we put on the Hallmark Channel to get some Christmas In July vibes going in the house. I swear the temperature went down a few degrees, a real gift in the sizzling summertime. When these Hallmark Christmas films arrive in July, it provides me a reset of sorts. I am less interested in marking the fact the year is half over. I am more interested in marking the fact the second half is getting started.

My “Holy Trinity” of Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas is that much closer now, bringing with it cooler temperatures, colorful leaves, and the traditional food and drink of Fall and Winter.

The second half of a year re-energizes me, but I certainly know it isn’t for everyone. I just prefer cold to heat, and to be sure each one of these Holiday seasons have deep meaning to me for both happy and not-as-happy reasons…just like a Hallmark Christmas movie.

And below, five of their films I always carve out time for since they first aired, even if it isn’t always turkey-carving time just yet.

An Unexpected Christmas (2021, Starring Bethany Joy Lenz, Tyler Hynes)

Christmas By Starlight (2020, Starring Kimberly Sustad, Paul Campbell)

Crashing Through The Snow (2021, Starring Amy Acker, Brooke Nevin, Warren Christie)

Debbie Macomber’s Trading Christmas (2011, Starring Faith Ford, Tom Cavanagh, Gil Bellows)

The Nine Lives Of Christmas (2014, Starring Kimberly Sustad, Brandon Routh)

Picture Courtesy Universal Pictures

Christmas Is For The Innocent

 

Several years ago, I came across this story published in the New York Daily News by Karen Zautyk. She is a former Editorial Board member there who originally wrote this for her father, John. I think it captures the essence of Christmas being most of all…for the innocent.

O, Little Lamb…Who Made Thee?

It was cold in the stable that night and the animals were huddled together for warmth. The cows and the oxen and the donkeys.

And one little lamb.

Sad, scrawny little lamb, born lame and frail. Too frail to be out with the flock in the fields. The shepherds had carried it into the stable where it would be safe from the wind and the wolves, for both the wolves and the wind came down from the hills with fierceness in the wintertime.

The lamb had food and shelter but that was not enough. It was lonely. Separated from its mother, it felt unloved. The other animals tried to be kind but they had no time. During the day they were busy working. The cows had milk to make, the oxen had earth to plow, and the donkeys had carts to pull.

At night they were all very tired. They’d feed upon the fodder and then go right to bed. None would talk, none would play. None would even sing a lullaby to a lamb that needed comfort. Every night the lamb would cry, and be told to hush, for its bleats disturbed their sleep.

Thus, that night, the lamb cried without making a sound as it had learned to do. And it looked at the strangers who were sharing the stable.  At the man, who held the woman’s hand and spoke to her so softly. And especially at the woman, who spoke not at all.

Huddled together, the animals slept, and eventually the lamb slept too.

And the night was silent.

But then, in the darkest hour, there was no more darkness and no more silence. There was the cry of a baby. And the stable shone with the brightest of lights, and there were voices ringing in the air.

The animals, shaken from their dreams, were frightened. They stamped their hooves and tossed their heads and made their frightened-animal noises…but the light was so lovely and the voices so beautiful it wasn’t long before they quieted and began to lose their fear.

And when the light had dimmed to a glow and the voices were only an echo, there in the manger they saw the baby…and their eyes went wide with wonder.

The animals murmured but would not approach until the woman beckoned. Then, one by one, the beasts came forward. All, that is, except the lamb…which was only a baby itself and still terribly afraid. Forgotten by the others, it trembled in a corner and tried to hide beneath the hay.

But. the baby in the manger was trembling too. The cold of the night had returned and the baby had started to shiver. When the animals saw this, they huddled closer about the crib.

The man took off his cloak and made a blanket of it, but the cloak was thin and threadbare and provided little warmth. The woman held the baby to her breast. He shivered still…and she began to weep.

And the lamb, which knew what weeping meant, lifted itself from the hay. Though it was still afraid…it left its hiding place. It made its way among the legs of the bigger beasts until it stood beside the woman…and it laid its head against her knee.

And the softest of hands reached down and stroked its wool.

And the gentlest of hands picked it up and tucked it into the manger straw…and tucked the baby in beside it…and covered them both with the cloak. The baby snuggled near and smiled…and closed his eyes.

And the lamb was very glad it had learned to cry without making a sound. Because it was crying now and didn’t want to wake the child.

But the lamb wasn’t crying because it was sad. It was crying because, at last, it didn’t feel alone. Or afraid. Or unloved.

Then the lamb closed its eyes too.

And the woman sang a lullaby.

 

Picture Courtesy New York Daily News

A Glow In The Darkness Is The Best Gift Of All

In May, 2013 a columnist by the name of Craig Wilson took his final bow after a buyout from his employer, USA Today. He wrote a weekly column for them called “The Final Word” for more than sixteen years. His writing – regardless of the subject matter – provided readers with a unique, thoughtful take on even the most take-for-granted aspects of daily life.

During his long career there, one December he wrote an article which dealt with holiday decorations. Specifically, displays that provide a depth of feeling that make passers-by smile and project the spirit of the holidays upon them.

I present this gentle reminder from Craig (and his father) of just how simple – and magical – this season can be…

A Glow In The Darkness Is The Best Gift Of All

Every December, a neighbor of ours opens his dining room shutters and lets in the world.

A floor-to-ceiling tree, laden with ornaments and white lights, fills the bay window. Underneath it is spread an assortment of antique toys. Original Raggedy Ann books, a model train engine from the Pennsylvania Railroad, a fire truck, and an assortment of old stuffed animals. An elephant. A bear. A well-loved floppy-eared rabbit sporting a winter sweater and seated in a wicker sleigh, ready to glide.

The window, which is right on the sidewalk and perfect for viewing, has become a holiday tradition in the neighborhood. Like many, I make a detour on my nightly dog walk just to pass by.

I know there will come a Christmas when the display won’t be there, but until then, I happily take in the annual offering, just as I used to take in the mesmerizing holiday windows years ago at Sibley’s department store in Rochester, N.Y.

The magic of our neighborhood window, however, is that there’s nothing commercial about it. My neighbor offers up the display every year purely for the joy it might give a passerby, not to make a sale or hype a product.

It’s perhaps the simplest of Christmas gifts, which also makes it the best.

When I was walking Maggie the other night, I watched as a young mother and father pointed out the various toys to their daughter. She was maybe 3 or 4 and in her father’s arms. From the look on her face, you’d have thought she was in another world. Maybe she was.

And then the trio strolled away, happy perhaps in the belief that they’d just had one of the most pleasant and innocent experiences of their hectic holiday. A serendipity of the season.

When I was growing up in the country, Christmas displays like my neighbor’s window were not abundant.

But I remember being impressed that someone would take the time and effort to hang, say, a single strand of multicolored lights around their barn door. Or wrap a lamp pole with lights, aglow at the end of the lane. A lonely beacon in the night.

My dad did the same.

Christmas after Christmas, he would run the world’s longest extension cord across the snow-covered front yard, down to a tiny fir tree that proudly stood sentinel by the side of the road.

He covered the tree with what seemed like thousands of lights, and every night at 5, he turned them on with all the flourish of lighting the tree at Rockefeller Center.

I’ve often wondered what people thought as they drove down this country road, in the middle of nowhere, and came upon a solitary tree glowing in the December darkness.

Maybe they thought it was the prettiest thing they ever saw. Maybe they saw it as a gift.

Maybe they realized someone was just sharing his joy. Nothing to sell. No agenda in mind. Something done just for the joy of it. Like my neighbor’s magical window.

And maybe that’s what it’s all about.

 

Picture Courtesy Keil Tree

 

A Charlie Brown Christmas – The Dancers

Thanksgiving Week is here…when Mrs. B and I acknowledge Christmas is not that far off. I have mentioned previously my dislike of Christmas “moving back” in the calendar. We love Christmas. We just don’t love it being promoted during the summer. I love me some Halloween first…and Pumpkin Spice…and leaves. But I digress…

One of my earliest and most cherished childhood memories was seeing the Charlie Brown Christmas special each year. To this very day, I consider no Holiday season complete unless I watch it again. If you feel the same, you may be interested in hunting down a copy of the most comprehensive book on the show I know of, “A Charlie Brown Christmas – The Making Of A Tradition,” which was first published back in October, 2000. It is a fantastic behind-the-scenes look at the genesis, production, and presentation of this historic piece of television born from the legendary comic strip, “Peanuts.”

On the morning of Christmas Day 2015, the data-themed website known as FiveThirtyEight posted a feature entitled “The ‘Charlie Brown Christmas Special’ Dancers You Most Want To Party With.” It was co-written by Walt Hickey and Leah Libresco. These two really put a fun spin on this classic episode of television that day, and hopefully you’ll enjoy it being replicated here.

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It’s a debate as old as time — or, at least as old as 1965’s “A Charlie Brown Christmas Special.” Of the many revelers throwing down sick moves to “Linus & Lucy” by The Vince Guaraldi Trio, who would you most like to party with? So as part of our Christmas Special Thunderdome, we set them up in a series of head-to-head battles and asked voters to decide the winner. Here they are, ranked by the percentage of matchups each won:

11. Sally (30 percent)

Walt: Sally is trying.

Leah: She’s kind of in her own space, having a good time but not drawing me in.

Walt: Nice little one-two step, you know? Basic moves, trucking right along. Go Sally. We have all been there.

10. The Girl In Green (30 percent)

Leah: These are pretty hesitant moves, but if she did this with a little more force, she could be rocking a bullfighting/paso doble thing.

Walt: Right, so I have a specific love for the girl in green, mainly because I, like most people, have been to a middle school dance. This is the dance that you do before your friend in the eighth grade tells you to stop using your arms so much.

Leah: My default in those moments was the Twist.

Walt: My default was “I want to punch the air, but the air right above my head, in particular.” I don’t really disagree with this ranking, but I admit I see far too much of my younger self in the girl in green.

Leah: Just so you know, the usual instruction for stage punches is “Punch a parrot on the shoulder of your scene partner.” You’re pretty close.

9. Pig-Pen (33 percent)

Leah: On the one hand, you get joyful abandon (plus he’s a musician). On the other hand, you get a dirt cloud even worse than when I hang around smoker friends.

Walt: I worry Pig-Pen may have been disadvantaged by the question.

Leah: How so?

Walt: We asked, “who would you most like to party with?” And the answer is never the filthy bassist, you know?

8. Schroeder (41 percent)

Leah: I mean, it’s clear Schroeder doesn’t want to party with us, so this 41 percent must be the ones who like ‘em coy.

Walt: “I’d never join any club that would have me as a member” is Schroeder’s motto. As far as he is concerned, he’s just playing a bit of piano, the party just comes to him.

Leah: Personally, I’d leave him to Lucy.

7. Linus (48 percent)

Walt: Now we’re getting somewhere. Linus knows what’s up. This is exactly how I dance to “Get Low.”

Leah: Gotta say, I think there are some good opportunities for partner dance with the blanket. I have some swing moves I could adapt.

Walt: Unpolished, but going for it. I think Linus is underrated.

Leah: I’ll party with him if our readers won’t.

6. The Girl With Red Hair (49 percent)

Leah: I am, of course, in favor of Frieda, because like her I have naturally curly hair. Unlike her, I have (I think) other distinguishing traits.

Walt: She looks like she’s swinging a person around but forgot to get a person. Appropriately rated.

Leah: I am a fan of her exuberance. Minimalism is only for experts.

5. The Dude In Green (54 percent)

Walt: I love this dude.

Leah: Nice moves, but feels more like a soloist than someone I’m going to dance with.

Walt: Right, like when a random circle opens up on the dance floor, you know this guy would think “my moment has arrived,” and just slay it in the center.

Leah: Exactly. But not the guy I want to spend the whole party with.

Walt: No way. Michael Jackson was lost and alone in 1982, waiting for his next big dance, and then on comes “A Charlie Brown Christmas Special” and presumably the rest is Moonwalk history. True story that I just made up.

4. Snoopy (59 percent)

Walt: WAY OVERRATED.

Leah: I mean, not as great here, but he’s got a pair of aviator goggles.

Walt: Leah, listen to the song “Linus and Lucy,” there is not a guitar part.

Leah: He’s in deep cover to catch the Red Baron’s agents?

Walt: There are two strings on his guitar, Leah. This is a dog phoning it in. He shows up to your party and sits in the corner and says “Hey, do y’all know ‘Wonderwall’?” and drinks all your Bud Heavy.

3 and 2. The Girls In Pink (64 percent and 65 percent)

girl_in_pink

girl_in_pink2

Leah: So, twins, I guess.

Walt: I normally hate arbitrarily lumping twins together — they’re two separate people with rich and distinct inner lives! — but this is either some twin coordination or a hungover animator.

Leah: They’ve got my favorite moves on the floor, so if anyone was going to be copy-and-pasted.

Walt: There’s so much nuance in the moves! At first, you just think, “Oh, they’re waving their arms around,” but then you see the footwork.

Leah: The double taps!

Walt: This was “whip my hair back and forth” decades before Willow dropped the track.

1. This Guy In The Orange (75 percent)

Leah: See, this is the kind of dancer who can pull off minimalist moves.

Walt: The only reason I would not want this guy at my party is he would hook up with everyone.

Leah: So, are you against meritocracy, Walt?

Walt: Far from it, just intimidated by greatness. This man is a force of nature. Look at the footwork!

Leah: It’s great top to bottom. But not as aggressively showy as the guy in green. If only we knew the name of this background guy to send him an invite to the office bash.

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After looking over all these entries, I do think two best represent how I worked the floor during my peak dancing years. Early at the club or a party…my moves resembled Linus. By the end of the night…The Dude In Green.

Charles Schulz, the genius behind “Peanuts,” was born in Minneapolis, Minnesota on November 26, 1922. His comic strip has meant so much to so many people of all ages over all these years…including this memorable Christmas classic. Happy Birthday, Charles…and thank you!

Pictures Courtesy Amazon/FiveThirtyEight

The Voice Of Halloween

 

This little dude entered our household ten years ago. Five years ago, his life changed a bit as he lost his voice. Now to be honest, he did not produce a bat sound…or a particularly scary sound at that. It was more of a “whirr.” Nonetheless, when we purchased him to add to our internal Halloween decorations, when squeezed he produced a mighty, hearty “whirr.”

We still put him out each Halloween, and when I look at him, I will sometimes find myself mumbling that “whirr” sound to myself. It serves as a reminder even if a part of something (of us!) no longer functions as originally designed, it (we!) still has (have!) great value.

I have recently read a few things online which make me think his voice box could be successfully brought back to life, but he already provides for us just by hanging out and being a bat. I am somewhat hesitant to start busting his seams open and performing open bat surgery just to hear a sound I am already making myself.

I think sometimes in our pursuit of perfectionism we can get too zealous and not leave well enough alone. For example, when you go to trim your eyebrows to perfection and think maybe the right side needs just a little more off…wait, back to the left side to even it up…wait…what the hell did I just do to my eyebrows?

Or, when your wife decides the holly bushes need a trim and she sets out to just take a “little” off. These two look good…let me even them up with those over here…oh, maybe a little less back here now…oops…honey?

(On a side-note, I find it amusing my wife has no issue whatsoever with the high-pitched screaming of the hedge trimmer, or the relentless chugging of the snow blower. She loves using those power tools. Yet, she rails against the relatively low sound the mini-vacuum makes. I have formed an opinion she does not like vacuuming. In any case, her passion for power tools keeps me honest…and volunteering to do the vacuuming myself…)

Bat-dude will continue to take his place each Halloween, having successfully pivoted to a “new” life. And…on Halloween night he will stand in attendance as trick-or-treaters visit our home. We usually get 80-100 kids each year. A lot of them travel with adults, and it is nice to see families still supporting a tradition I have always held dear to my heart. Traditions seem to be so much harder to maintain today. I would like to think opening our door on Halloween gives voice to those who want to see this tradition of the holiday continue, but can no longer participate themselves.

Aside from making it a special evening for the kids, it is a chance for all of us who wave hello at a distance 364 days of the year to interact a bit more closely, if only for a few moments. Most households have their outdoor lights on and doors open, and it is nice people who might disagree on other subjects (especially these days) find common ground in trying to make Halloween special for our youth…and hopefully for ourselves as well.

Whether it be watching a scary movie, noshing on some candy, participating in a costume party, waiting on the Great Pumpkin, or just enjoying the decorations…have a safe and Happy Halloween.

Pictures Courtesy IMDb/Wikipedia